I’m a stuffed toy dinosaur and my name is Gyao. I’ve spent quite a long time tucked away in the closet so I’m smelling a little moldy. The dad in this house brought me out for the first time in a while today, so I’m in a bright, sunny place now.
I’m very happy! Gyaooooooooooo!! (That’s dinosaur-talk!)
But, when he sat me on top of the table, the missus said,
“Don’t put that dirty thing on the table!”
He didn’t say a word.
I wish he had said something. She’s got her nerve calling me “dirty”! I’m dirty cuz I played a lot with their kids. Getting dirty is my job! I’m happy to get dirty cuz that means I’m popular. That means they’re going to play with me.
I had a friend who was a stuffed toy rabbit whose name was “Big Pants.” I played with him a lot. He was a pink rabbit with a pair of huge sky-blue pants on. His face eventually got grey. That’s cuz they used him as a pillow. Even then, he was happy cuz he got to be with little Mikey all through the night. I was the bad guy and growled, “Gyaooooooo” and went after Big Pants. That’s when the “Loan Ranger”—he was the good guy—would enter. He had eyes like eggs and wore a shiny, kinda glittery, jumpsuit. He thought he was so cool. He thought he was like Ultraman.
The Loan Ranger and I would fight.
At first, I’d get him good. Really good.
But the Loan Ranger would get stronger whenever he went to the bank.
Then he’d kick me in the shins or come back at me with an uppercut to the jaw.
Actually, I could beat that Loan Ranger up very easily. But Mikey, whom I love a lot, always tells me “to lose” so I pretend to.
That’s when that Loan Ranger, who thought he was so cool, shouts that he’s the winner: “My money has the most power in the whole market!”
I don’t really know what a “market” is. But I think it’s the same as the world.
The most powerful thing in the whole world isn’t money.
Mikey’s happy cuz there are stuffed animals like me and Big Pants who play with him until we’re all dirty.
Mikey turns into the Loan Ranger, saves Big Pants and finishes me off.
But Big Pants is my friend so I go easy on him.
I hit him but I’m not really hitting him.
I pretend like I bite him, but I’m not really biting him.
Big Pants and I are like actors.
We both are happy to do what Mikey tells us to.
That’s because we love Mikey.
Then our Mikey grew up and left us behind.
The missus said he started working at a securities company.
I wonder if Mikey is shouting, “The power of money is the greatest in the world!” there, too?
I wonder who’s playing the good guy and the bad guy now?
I think I wanna ask the dad of this house soon.